Update: Sleep going better but still struggling with the CPAP
Im struggling.
It’s 0342 and Im awake. The past 10 days I’ve averaged around 4 hours of sleep. Four days ago I got what I thought was going to be a game changer. A life saver. Something that would stop snoring and sleep apnea and restore my focus, a CPAP. I was so excited I rushed home after a dive and went straight to bed.
It sucks. I’ve slept even less.
I diligently tried on different masks and picked out what I thought would be more comfortable mask, one that covered both mouth and nose.
I hate it. I have struggled. I have tried to watch tv with it on in hopes I would acclimate. I have logged zero sleep with it in spite of attempting to wear it for at least four hours a night to satisfy the insurance requirement. I have bested at 3 hours 10 minutes before ripping it off my face.
Being stationed in Western Europe in the 1980s at a time we trained daily for war with the Soviet Union and the Eastern Bloc sticked full of chemical weapons I am realizing is most likely the culprit of my CPAP anxiety. I was stationed as the front line defense should the bear attack. We got daily breifings as to where our adversary was, I carried chemical warefare equipment not only on me during duty hours but also in my car, We had SCIFS, designated bunkers to sleep in when not sitting in a Defensive Fighting Position or on a combat patrol in full MOPP gear (chem gear). We carried real chem gear, training chem gear M8/M9 Detection Paper, and Atropine and 2 Pam Chloride should we get gassed. We spent multiple days and sometimes weeks in simulated combat missions wearing gas masks and chem gear. This was life in Europe.
I’m not doing well. I’m pulling out every grounding technique I know to keep it together. I will be ok but man what a disappointment this has been. I want to sleep and wake up refreshed. Right now I am exhausted and feel nobody relates or understands. I think only those who were there and lived with the constant reality get it. Its 0408 and I need answers.
Great Resources
The Neptune Warrior 
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