The Neptune Warrior

A few years ago, I went through a divorce. Once the paperwork was signed and my ex-wife finally left several months later due to COVID lockdowns, a sense of calm settled over the house. Not that there was constant strife, but there had always been an uneasy disturbance. Looking back, that disturbance had been building for several years. Much of it stemmed from the arrangement—or rather the lack of arrangement—in our home.

We had agreed several times I would be the provider and she would take care of the home. Still, she would leave piles of clothes everywhere, dishes piled up in the sink, and unfinished projects stored on the table. The fridge was a mess, and the entire house was in complete disarray. There were multiple half-used packs of spices in the cupboard, partially painted rooms, and an overall lack of love and care for the house I worked so hard to ensure we could afford. There was no place in the entire house where I could retreat to find peace.

In fact, I had built an area in the backyard with a fire pit and a T-10 parachute “Tee Pee” as a personal sanctuary. The one place I hoped would be a refuge for us, the master bedroom, was often cluttered with undone laundry mixed with clean clothes. Our child’s toys were mixed in with piles of books and magazines. (I’m a huge believer a master bedroom is the sanctuary for a couple and no kids are allowed.) There wasn’t a single room where I could gather myself and find solace.

Finding a place to relax and unwind is essential for maintaining mental and physical well-being. Creating a safe, calming space at home can provide a sanctuary from daily stressors. Here’s how to make your home a haven of peace and tranquility.

Tips for Making Your Home a Safe, Calming Space

1. Declutter Regularly
A tidy space reduces stress and creates a sense of order. Keep surfaces clear and organized to maintain a peaceful environment. Regularly sorting through belongings and removing items that are no longer needed can prevent clutter from accumulating and overwhelming your space.

2. Comfortable Furniture
Choose furniture that is both comfortable and functional. Ergonomic options support good posture and reduce physical strain, making relaxation easier. Invest in pieces that offer comfort and support, such as a cozy armchair or a supportive mattress, to create an inviting and restful atmosphere.

3. Natural Elements
Incorporate plants and natural materials. They not only improve air quality but also bring a touch of nature indoors, enhancing the calming effect. Plants like lavender, aloe vera, and peace lilies can purify the air and create a serene environment. Natural materials like wood, stone, and cotton can add warmth and texture to your space.

4. Noise Control
Use rugs, curtains, and other soft materials to dampen noise. Consider a white noise machine or calming music to mask disruptive sounds and create a serene atmosphere. Soundproofing elements like heavy curtains or acoustic panels can help reduce external noise and make your space more tranquil.

5. Personal Touches
Decorate with items that bring you joy and comfort, such as family photos, artwork, or cherished mementos. These personal touches make the space feel uniquely yours and add to the overall sense of comfort. Surrounding yourself with meaningful objects can evoke positive memories and enhance your sense of well-being.

One unique way I personalize my space is by displaying scuba antiques and artifacts I have found while diving. These items not only serve as conversation pieces but also remind me of my underwater adventures and the tranquility I find in the ocean. Additionally, I include photos, postcards, and other memorabilia from fun dive travel trips, which bring back fond memories and inspire future adventures.

Benefits of a Dedicated Relaxation Area

1. Mental Health
A designated relaxation area serves as a retreat from daily stressors, promoting mental well-being. It provides a space where you can unwind and recharge, helping to reduce anxiety and improve mood.

2. Consistency
Having a specific spot for relaxation helps establish a routine, making it easier to unwind and de-stress. Consistency in your relaxation habits can reinforce the association between your relaxation area and feelings of calm and peace.

3. Boundaries
A dedicated area helps create boundaries between work and relaxation, which is especially important if you work from home. This separation can prevent burnout and enhance overall productivity by ensuring that work-related stress does not encroach on your personal time.

4. Focus
A relaxation area can enhance the effectiveness of mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, by providing a consistent and distraction-free environment. A tranquil space free from interruptions can help you concentrate on your practice and deepen your relaxation.

Using Sensory Elements

Incorporating sensory elements can significantly enhance the calming effect of your space. Here are some key sensory elements to consider:

1. Aromatherapy
Essential oils like lavender, chamomile, or eucalyptus create a calming atmosphere. Use diffusers, scented candles, or fresh flowers to add a pleasant scent to your space. Aromatherapy can help reduce stress, improve sleep, and elevate mood.

2. Lighting
Soft, warm lighting creates a cozy ambiance. Dimmable lights, salt lamps, and string lights allow you to adjust the lighting to match your mood and enhance relaxation. Avoid harsh overhead lighting and opt for softer, more diffuse light sources.

3. Textures
Incorporate soft textures through blankets, pillows, and rugs. These provide comfort and a sense of security, making the space more inviting. Mixing different textures can add depth and interest to your decor, creating a rich and tactile experience.

4. Sound
Play soothing sounds or music to enhance relaxation. Nature sounds, instrumental music, or guided meditations can create a peaceful auditory backdrop. Soundscapes can help mask distracting noises and create a more immersive relaxation experience.

5. Visual Elements
Choose calming colors like blues, greens, and neutrals for your decor. Art and imagery that evoke peace and happiness can also contribute to a serene environment. Visual elements can set the tone for your space and influence your emotional state.

Dealing with Clutter

Clutter can have a significant impact on mental health, contributing to stress, anxiety, and even depression. Here’s how clutter affects us and strategies for managing it effectively.

Impact of Clutter on Mental Health

Research shows that clutter can lead to a nearly constant feeling of frustration as you struggle to complete daily tasks. It can cause negative feelings about your home and decrease overall life satisfaction. Clutter is also associated with increased stress levels and decreased productivity.

Strategies for Decluttering

1. Start Small
Begin with a small area or a single room to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Tackling one small section at a time makes the process more manageable.

2. Set Realistic Goals
Establish clear, achievable goals for each decluttering session. This approach helps maintain motivation and provides a sense of accomplishment as each goal is met.

3. Categorize and Prioritize
Sort items into categories such as keep, donate, recycle, and discard. Prioritize keeping items that are useful, bring joy, or hold significant sentimental value.

4. Use Storage Solutions
Invest in storage solutions like bins, shelves, and organizers to keep items neatly arranged. Labeling storage containers can also make it easier to find and return items to their designated places.

5. Implement a One-In, One-Out Rule
To prevent future clutter, adopt the habit of removing one item for every new item brought into the home. This rule helps maintain a balance and prevents accumulation of unnecessary possessions.

6. Create a Decluttering Schedule
Regularly schedule time for decluttering to keep it a continuous habit rather than a one-time event. This could be a few minutes each day, an hour each week, or a more extended session each month, depending on your needs and lifestyle.

7. Seek Support
Enlist the help of friends, family, or professional organizers if the task feels too overwhelming. Having support can provide motivation, accountability, and additional perspectives on what to keep or discard.

8. Address Emotional Attachments
Understand and address the emotional reasons behind keeping certain items. If an item holds sentimental value but is no longer useful, consider taking a photo of it before letting it go. This can help preserve the memory without contributing to physical clutter.

By incorporating these strategies, you can create a calm, organized, and welcoming environment that promotes relaxation and well-being.

About Me

Over two decades of experience and a passionate advocate for mental wellness. Through my nonprofit project, Neptune Warrior, I use scuba therapy to help veterans, first responders, and others manage PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I create safe, calming spaces and produce social media content to support mental health. Having faced my own challenges with PTSD, I understand the importance of a supportive environment. If you’re struggling with PTSD or know someone who could benefit from my services, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can navigate the path to healing and create a brighter, more peaceful future.